“OSCAR PIASTRI MISSING MILLIONS AS REPORT ROCKS F1,” the online news article headline shouted at me when I opened my Google app.

I looked at it. “I know what you are,” I said to it inside my head. “You are clickbait.”

As a rule, I refuse to click on these articles because they’re so incredibly stupid and don’t deserve to be read. But today, I decided to do it as an experiment.

Turns out, the millions he’s missing are because his multi-million dollar base salary is some millions less than his teammate’s.

In other words, he’s missing those millions in more or less the same way that I am.

SCANDALOUS.

But I’ve been thinking about that. Not the missing millions, but overly dramatic headlines. Why they exist. How they exist. How much the overuse of hyperbole annoys me.

And yet, one of my flaws is probably the opposite. Instead of getting overly excited about too many things, I don’t get excited enough about enough things.

So then I thought: what if I did? What if I took my ordinary little life and acted as if it were extraordinary? What if I wrote overly dramatic headlines about it?

And so…a handful of February’s moments, according to the tabloids:

Library App Backfires As Couple Prepares for High-Stakes Book Custody Battle

• What started as a simple attempt to organize their library quickly spiraled into a territorial dispute as the couple realized they both wanted to claim the same books. Negotiations are ongoing, but insiders report tensions are high. “I always dreamed of marrying a man who reads,” Mrs. Hostetler shared in an exclusive interview. “But I never thought it would lead to something like this.”

BETRAYAL! Woman Caught Enjoying Cooked Onions After Decades of Hatred

• In a shocking turn of events, a woman long known for her staunch anti-onion stance was recently seen not only tolerating but enjoying the controversial vegetable. Sources confirm the incident took place in her own kitchen, where she willingly consumed onions in a meal she had prepared herself. “I didn’t think it would happen to me,” she admitted, visibly shaken. Experts say this could signal a major shift in her culinary future.

This One Tiny Habit Adds Instant Joy to the Kitchen – And It Costs Less Than a Coffee

• It takes less than five dollars. It lasts for weeks. And it turns an ordinary kitchen into a place that feels just a little more special. Some call it a luxury, but one woman swears it’s the easiest way to bring effortless beauty into everyday life. Experts agree: small joys matter.

A Tired Mother, A Sleeping Child, And One Question That Made Time Stand Still

• The battle was predictable—the sleepy demands, the pointing back to her parents’ room, and a mother determined to get some uninterrupted rest. But tonight, something was different. A question written over two thousand years ago kept her there, even after the small one slept.

Frozen Soup Resurfaces at the Perfect Moment – A Lifesaving Gift from the Past

• An exhausted woman, facing the grim reality of cooking, was rescued by a decision she made months ago. The unearthed soup, described as “a game-changer” and “proof that past decisions matter,” was served within minutes, saving the night.

Toddler Revolutionizes Family Life with Groundbreaking Statement

• For years, grocery store runs had been a battle of patience and survival. But everything changed when, against all odds, a toddler casually declared, “That was fun!” The unexpected statement sent shockwaves through the household, forcing a total reassessment of what was previously considered possible. Was this a one-time event or the beginning of a new era? Analysts remain cautiously optimistic.

OUTRAGE: Woman Discovers Movie Adaptation of Favorite Book Years Too Late—Who Was Hiding This?

• A routine scroll through Threads turned into a life-altering moment when one woman learned that a favorite book had been a movie this whole time. “It’s not just that I missed it,” she explained, still reeling. “It’s that I could have watched it.” Some warn that cases like this are more common than people realize.

…Stay tuned for next month’s scandals and shocks.